soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The struggles of a small town man whore
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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