he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
