Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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