i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
