"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
