I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
