It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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