he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
