no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
