I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
