i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
