We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
