I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
