The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
