Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
