After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
