haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
