she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
