Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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