Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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