party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
