my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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