he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is Oprah even human
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
