She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
