I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
