dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
