we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She even gives head with a lisp.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
