i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
