Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize