that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
