I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
