Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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