You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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