All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
