After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
