No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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