I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
