Pants 0. Shit 1.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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