Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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