hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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