why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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