She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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