How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
