JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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