Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
