They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
