a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
