Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
