I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize