Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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