I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
