i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize