So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
