Non-Jews are for practice
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
