I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Too much gin, very little bucket
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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