she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
