So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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