Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
