Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
