Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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