ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I could make wine with my vomit
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
