i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
