Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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