out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize