i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize